On 9/7/09 I wrote the post, A Personal Revelation. Finally having a name...clairsentience... for what I've been experiencing during my lifetime is amazing, generally comforting (at least there's a reason for what's going on), and occasionally somewhat scary/exhilarating in a "what's next?" kind of way. This past weekend has opened my eyes (and Chris' eyes) even further along the psychic line. For one thing, it's clear that I'm going to need MUCH further help in creating protection, health and balance when I'm in situations where emotions are running high...like at funerals.
Having just come back from Minnesota, spent in celebration of my beloved Aunt Loraine's life, I can say the experience was one I shall never forget. It was incredible meeting again and spending time with our large extended family, mostly in this case folks from my Ma's side. Thankfully, what the family didn't know at the time was that as the hours went by in their presence, I was absorbing MORE and MORE of their emotions, some of which included intense grief, sadness, regret...or the beautiful flip-side including joy, happiness, love, you-name-it. That's what this clairsentient does really well ~ absorb. Not on purpose, mind you. Not because I want or need to. It's simply (or complexly?) something that I've always done (and always happens) in varying degrees, especially when I'm surrounded by concentrated emotions, AND MOST ESPECIALLY WHEN THOSE EMOTIONS ARE COMING FROM FOLKS I CARE ABOUT (be they family, friends, students, co-workers, etc.). But it's important to note again that until recently, I didn't know that what I am...what I did...what I have...had a name. I'm clairsentient. If I had written down all the examples of how this "trait" manifested itself over the years, I'd have a book full of true stories. Maybe someday I will fill such a book, hopefully along with truly useful tips to cope with the oft-misunderstood psychic gift of clairsentience. It's my goal to celebrate my psychic gifts positively, not find myself in the hospital with symptoms of absorption-overload! Us clairsentients need all the help we can get!
Believe me, I tried to protect myself this past weekend, using many of the tools of protection I've learned from the writings of various favorite authors, and then some (See Protection). Each day I grounded and centered. I meditated, albeit briefly. Each day I prayed for help. But the emotions I was surrounded by were too strong and fever-pitched for me to ward off. I became more off-balanced by the minute. Chris removed me from the situations each evening when he saw the color drained from my face and looking as though I was ready to drop. New to the scenario was that I even developed hives on my back (how attractive...not) that gratefully disappeared by morning. Thankfully, I don't believe any relatives were the wiser about what was happening to me. But as per usual, my joy at being with my family and/or friends was cut short because I had nothing left. All personal energy reserves were gone. I had sucked up some of my family's hard-core emotions without being asked to do so. Chris said he thought that I even "produced" emotions for those I was around if somewhere down deep I felt a need to do so...geez, how weird is that?!!! I looked like I was ready for my own death-bed by the time we got back to the hotel each evening. The next day, after a morning shower and a bit of make-up, no one guessed what had happened. But Chris and I knew.
On the flight back from MN, Chris suggested I look further on the internet for groups or organizations dealing with clairsentience. Yesterday, I found this: The Clairsentient Body. Chris and I were flabbergasted when we read the "symptoms" on this site and noted that most, if not all, applied to me. Today, Chris suggested I write the author of the site, which I will do soon.
I also found a few other blogs and sites dealing, sometimes briefly, with clairsentience. Some of these sites didn't appear to be as well-defined nor accurate as one would hope. It's clear that research and deep delving are going to be necessary to get the full picture of this psychic gift. It's clear that Chris and I have a journey ahead to understand clairsentience.
The author of The Clairsentient Body writes, "However, to feel, as in clairsentience, requires recognition, acceptance, and it takes commitment to learn the skills to manage the energy.
But wait, there's more to relate. When I was sick in bed each evening in MN, clairvoyant "movies" played out, showing people I had never seen before. I wondered if these people were from the past or for the future? What made me over-the-top nauseous was when the movies started to go faster. I said telepathically, "Stop," and they did. The movies made me think about how I was beginning to see all sorts of singular portraits of folks I didn't know at various times of the day over the previous weeks. It's as if I'm trying to be reached by crossed over people, but there doesn't seem to be rhyme nor reason to it all yet. Friend, Jenna, has suggested I keep a notebook with me at all times to record what these people look like. I can then refer to them if need be or at the very least, get them out of my head and onto paper!
Yesterday, I was alone in our foyer about to take a book out of a tote bag. Instead, as I grabbed for the book, a remembrance leaflet about Aunt Loraine popped out higher than the book I wanted. I picked the leaflet up and began reading. As I did so, a physical loving touch on my back caused me to swing around, because I thought Chris had teasingly crept up behind me. Chris was not there. I didn't see any form but I KNEW it was Aunt Loraine and burst out crying from the emotion of it. I thanked her for continuing to honor our "pact" of sending me clear signs once she crossed over.
Today, I was resting on our futon couch while Chris was in his music studio, practicing for this evening's gig. I heard LOUDLY, "Jeannine!". Clairaudience, loud and clear. It could have been either my Ma or Aunt Loraine, given the cadence in the voice. I called out to Chris, "Did you hear that?" He said, "What? No." I told him that the psychic door was swinging open wider...here we go...
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
In Memoriam To Aunt Loraine
A few days ago the most...and I mean the most...incredible woman I have EVER known crossed over. This woman just happened to be my Aunt Loraine. She was 97 years young. We weren't related directly by blood, as she was the wife of one of my Ma's brothers, but we were thankfully, inextricably tied nonetheless. She was a second mother to me and always was available with a loving, listening, ear and encouraging advice. The thing is, she connected deeply with MANY people and each of us were special to her in our own right. Us Loraine-Loved-Folks would be doing ourselves a disservice if we were jealous of this...she had enough love for us all! I can only imagine the HUGE crowd of folks, myself included, who will be present during the visitation at the funeral home and at the memorial service at Aunt Loraine's church. She's undeniably touched the hearts and souls of countless people. And the thing is, she demonstrated time and again that she never forgot a single one of us, our connection to her, and our connection to each other. If I had half the memory and brain-power that Aunt Loraine had in her 90s, I'd be doing really good. If we all had a portion of the love that Aunt Loraine gave to others, the world would be a better place.
I've been suffering from a low-grade headache over the last several days. I attributed it to flu, but friend, Jenna, suggested it may be more metaphysical and connected to Aunt Loraine's crossing. Since I'm clairsentient, there is a good chance I'm picking up vibes from a lot of sources, all trying to get through to me. Jenna thought it would be a good idea if I wrote down experiences/thoughts I have had with Aunt Loraine, focusing in, and releasing bottled up emotions. Here goes...
Aunt Loraine lived her life in St. Paul, Minnesota (where my whole family was born, except for me...a Detroiter). Whenever we made our nearly-yearly trek to St. Paul to visit family, we ALWAYS spent a lot of time with Aunt Loraine's family. I was particularly close to Mary Pat, Aunt Loraine's youngest and near in age to me, and we would draw and play the afternoons away. I remember when Mary Pat and I got a wicked awful sunburn and Aunt Loraine knew just what to do to cure it.
Aunt Loraine knew how to make a dandy ham sandwich...always with pickles on the side.
I remember when my Ma broke her tooth on a frozen candy bar at Aunt Loraine's. Actually, we all had a hearty laugh over that.
Aunt Loraine, an only child, told me that my Ma was just like a sister to her.
I stayed with Aunt Loraine (and her husband, Uncle Bob, when he was alive) at her longtime home on Edmund Ave. whenever I was in St. Paul from the time I was a teenager and onward. In the '70s, I was with her when I interviewed to be a stewardess for Northwest Orient airlines (based in MN at the time). I didn't get the job (not "sophisticated" enough!) and continued my university degree instead. I visited Aunt Loraine when I attended Stitches in order to take a class with Nancy Bush (and ask Nancy to co-write/co-design an article for Spin-Off with me). When Aunt Loraine was still driving, she took me to my Ma's and Dad's old "haunts," including the "Nickle Joint," a bar where my parents met. She also took me to where her parents had lived. We visited my Aunt Addie when she was still alive. We hosted my Ma's cousin, Marie, with her little poodle, at Aunt Loraine's house. We visited many grave sites of family members, including my grandparents. I pored over Aunt Loraine's many photo albums of family/friends.
When my Ma and oldest brother, Jack, crossed over in the '90s, she flew in to be with us for the funerals, etc. She was the family's representative and ambassador.
Aunt Loraine and I became closest over the last 14 years. She was the only one who stood by and supported me and my decisions during an ongoing family health crisis. She always was available for a discussion, no matter when I called.
Aunt Loraine would send me fivers and tenners in the mail, "just because." She made it clear I was NOT to discuss this money even with her, and told me never to send it back.
Aunt Loraine taught me to "Let Go and Let God." She taught me "Image, Attitude, Wisdom, and Time." She had no time for the "I wants". God's will being done was the most important thing to her.
A few years ago I stayed with one of Aunt Loraine's daughters, Jan, when Aunt Loraine landed in the hospital and everyone thought her life might be over soon. Despite Aunt Loraine being very sick, we had our personal "talk" then. It was "our" special time.
A few weeks ago I had another amazing chat with Aunt Loraine. Amazing, because her congestive heart failure had been recently playing havoc with her powers of speech. On the day I called she was lucid and sounded nearly like her old self. I viewed our talk together as the gift that it was.
There is undoubtedly more. These were just some of the snippets in time. The blessing of having Aunt Loraine present throughout much of my life is golden...priceless.
I "talked" telepathically to Aunt Loraine several weeks ago and asked if she would send me clear signs when she crossed over. So far here is what has happened. Between 8 and 9 pm on the day she died, I was at my altar centering and grounding. At that point, I had no idea Aunt Loraine crossed over around 8 pm. I didn't learn this until the next morning. As I centered, I heard beautiful, indescribable, music playing in my ear (no one was home but me). I remember thinking, "Well, this must be the clairaudience I knew was coming." The next day, when I heard of Aunt Loraine's passing, I got a sense that the Angels were rejoicing that Aunt Loraine had come home.
Also, the day that Jan, Aunt Loraine's daughter, had called to say Aunt Loraine had broken her hip and was in hospital (the night before she died); I woke up with a start at 1:15 am and said out loud, "Aunt Loraine has died." I wrote this in my dream notebook. The next morning, Jan called and gave me the news that she did, indeed, die the evening prior.
Something tells me Aunt Loraine will give more loving signs. She's just that kind of beautiful soul.
I've been suffering from a low-grade headache over the last several days. I attributed it to flu, but friend, Jenna, suggested it may be more metaphysical and connected to Aunt Loraine's crossing. Since I'm clairsentient, there is a good chance I'm picking up vibes from a lot of sources, all trying to get through to me. Jenna thought it would be a good idea if I wrote down experiences/thoughts I have had with Aunt Loraine, focusing in, and releasing bottled up emotions. Here goes...
Aunt Loraine lived her life in St. Paul, Minnesota (where my whole family was born, except for me...a Detroiter). Whenever we made our nearly-yearly trek to St. Paul to visit family, we ALWAYS spent a lot of time with Aunt Loraine's family. I was particularly close to Mary Pat, Aunt Loraine's youngest and near in age to me, and we would draw and play the afternoons away. I remember when Mary Pat and I got a wicked awful sunburn and Aunt Loraine knew just what to do to cure it.
Aunt Loraine knew how to make a dandy ham sandwich...always with pickles on the side.
I remember when my Ma broke her tooth on a frozen candy bar at Aunt Loraine's. Actually, we all had a hearty laugh over that.
Aunt Loraine, an only child, told me that my Ma was just like a sister to her.
I stayed with Aunt Loraine (and her husband, Uncle Bob, when he was alive) at her longtime home on Edmund Ave. whenever I was in St. Paul from the time I was a teenager and onward. In the '70s, I was with her when I interviewed to be a stewardess for Northwest Orient airlines (based in MN at the time). I didn't get the job (not "sophisticated" enough!) and continued my university degree instead. I visited Aunt Loraine when I attended Stitches in order to take a class with Nancy Bush (and ask Nancy to co-write/co-design an article for Spin-Off with me). When Aunt Loraine was still driving, she took me to my Ma's and Dad's old "haunts," including the "Nickle Joint," a bar where my parents met. She also took me to where her parents had lived. We visited my Aunt Addie when she was still alive. We hosted my Ma's cousin, Marie, with her little poodle, at Aunt Loraine's house. We visited many grave sites of family members, including my grandparents. I pored over Aunt Loraine's many photo albums of family/friends.
When my Ma and oldest brother, Jack, crossed over in the '90s, she flew in to be with us for the funerals, etc. She was the family's representative and ambassador.
Aunt Loraine and I became closest over the last 14 years. She was the only one who stood by and supported me and my decisions during an ongoing family health crisis. She always was available for a discussion, no matter when I called.
Aunt Loraine would send me fivers and tenners in the mail, "just because." She made it clear I was NOT to discuss this money even with her, and told me never to send it back.
Aunt Loraine taught me to "Let Go and Let God." She taught me "Image, Attitude, Wisdom, and Time." She had no time for the "I wants". God's will being done was the most important thing to her.
A few years ago I stayed with one of Aunt Loraine's daughters, Jan, when Aunt Loraine landed in the hospital and everyone thought her life might be over soon. Despite Aunt Loraine being very sick, we had our personal "talk" then. It was "our" special time.
A few weeks ago I had another amazing chat with Aunt Loraine. Amazing, because her congestive heart failure had been recently playing havoc with her powers of speech. On the day I called she was lucid and sounded nearly like her old self. I viewed our talk together as the gift that it was.
There is undoubtedly more. These were just some of the snippets in time. The blessing of having Aunt Loraine present throughout much of my life is golden...priceless.
I "talked" telepathically to Aunt Loraine several weeks ago and asked if she would send me clear signs when she crossed over. So far here is what has happened. Between 8 and 9 pm on the day she died, I was at my altar centering and grounding. At that point, I had no idea Aunt Loraine crossed over around 8 pm. I didn't learn this until the next morning. As I centered, I heard beautiful, indescribable, music playing in my ear (no one was home but me). I remember thinking, "Well, this must be the clairaudience I knew was coming." The next day, when I heard of Aunt Loraine's passing, I got a sense that the Angels were rejoicing that Aunt Loraine had come home.
Also, the day that Jan, Aunt Loraine's daughter, had called to say Aunt Loraine had broken her hip and was in hospital (the night before she died); I woke up with a start at 1:15 am and said out loud, "Aunt Loraine has died." I wrote this in my dream notebook. The next morning, Jan called and gave me the news that she did, indeed, die the evening prior.
Something tells me Aunt Loraine will give more loving signs. She's just that kind of beautiful soul.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Synchronicity
Yesterday I do believe I was in the midst of synchronicity. Merriam-Webster defines synchronicity as follows...
1 : the quality or fact of being synchronous (synchronous meaning that something is happening, existing, or arising at precisely the same time, among other similar definitions).
2 : the coincidental occurrence of events and especially psychic events (as similar thoughts in widely separated persons or a mental image of an unexpected event before it happens) that seem related but are not explained by conventional mechanisms of causality —used especially in the psychology of C. G. Jung.
I also rather like a past post on "The Active Side Of Infinity" blog. Check it out: Synchronicity.
Yesterday I wanted to attend our evening spinning guild meeting that was going to be held at a local nursing home in Brattleboro. Since Chris was leaving for work in Massachusetts, the only way into town was on the Moo-ver bus in the morning. I happily spent the day reading and going here and there with my favorite librarian friend, Leslie. Because Chris wasn't going to be able to pick me up 'til around 10 pm at night, I was planning to wait either at a tea lounge or the Co-op until he arrived. The guild meeting ended at 8 pm, so that left me with two hours to wait. Did I check websites to see if the tea room or Co-op would be open 'til 10 pm? No. I wrongly assumed that one or t'other would meet my needs. Lo and behold, the tea lounge closed at 8 pm and the Co-op at 9 pm. Rats. I couldn't leave Brattleboro, because Chris doesn't carry a cell phone and I had no way to tell him I was doing anything but waiting at one of the two places where we agreed I'd wait.
Now I have some very special friends called the Lunar Ladies. Leslie is one of them and I assured her she could drop me off at the Co-op anyways and I would plunk myself on a bench outside until Chris arrived. Leslie looked dubious about this decision. Brattleboro isn't exactly a den of crime but a female hanging around a closed building at night wasn't a smart option. Being dropped off at the brewery...boozy watering hole that it is...was also not a good choice. Unfortunately, there wasn't much more to choose from in downtown Bratt at that time of night.
Now just as Leslie and I were driving around to see if there were any reasonable drop-off possibilities, two other Lunar Ladies, Elizabeth and Jenna, were about to carpool home from the guild meeting. Before leaving town for home, one of them got a "gut" feeling that I needed them. Just as we were making our way up Main Street, Leslie spied the other two Lunar Ladies in their car. Synchronicity. We stopped and much conferring went on. Even tho' I'm the oldest of the group, I felt about 12 as they decided what to do about me, but I was too tired to even worry much about this. The long and short of it is, I got in the car with Elizabeth. Jenna got in the car and headed home with Leslie, both of whom were exhausted and/or not feeling well. Now it was up to Elizabeth and I to find a place for me to wait in safety. I wondered aloud if the movie theater would mind me hanging out in their lobby? We decided it was worth a try, so I asked and was given the go-ahead. Off went Elizabeth.
I went in and the workers offered me a cushion to sit on, well away from the glass doors near the street. About 9:30 pm, even tho' I wasn't expecting Chris until 10 pm or after, I suddenly felt the urge to get up, gather my bags, and head to the glass doors. Just as I put my things down by the door, Chris drove by, spotted me, and backed up. Synchronicity, indeed.
One good friend, Lee, calls synchronicity "coinkydinks." Thank goodness for these incidences, whatever they're called!!! Too often we pass synchronicity off as inconsequential. However, if you consider and write up all the times you experience synchronicity, you might be amazed at the frequency that such happenings occur.
It would be great if you shared your coinkydinks. Consider putting them in the comment section, please. Thank you!
1 : the quality or fact of being synchronous (synchronous meaning that something is happening, existing, or arising at precisely the same time, among other similar definitions).
2 : the coincidental occurrence of events and especially psychic events (as similar thoughts in widely separated persons or a mental image of an unexpected event before it happens) that seem related but are not explained by conventional mechanisms of causality —used especially in the psychology of C. G. Jung.
I also rather like a past post on "The Active Side Of Infinity" blog. Check it out: Synchronicity.
Yesterday I wanted to attend our evening spinning guild meeting that was going to be held at a local nursing home in Brattleboro. Since Chris was leaving for work in Massachusetts, the only way into town was on the Moo-ver bus in the morning. I happily spent the day reading and going here and there with my favorite librarian friend, Leslie. Because Chris wasn't going to be able to pick me up 'til around 10 pm at night, I was planning to wait either at a tea lounge or the Co-op until he arrived. The guild meeting ended at 8 pm, so that left me with two hours to wait. Did I check websites to see if the tea room or Co-op would be open 'til 10 pm? No. I wrongly assumed that one or t'other would meet my needs. Lo and behold, the tea lounge closed at 8 pm and the Co-op at 9 pm. Rats. I couldn't leave Brattleboro, because Chris doesn't carry a cell phone and I had no way to tell him I was doing anything but waiting at one of the two places where we agreed I'd wait.
Now I have some very special friends called the Lunar Ladies. Leslie is one of them and I assured her she could drop me off at the Co-op anyways and I would plunk myself on a bench outside until Chris arrived. Leslie looked dubious about this decision. Brattleboro isn't exactly a den of crime but a female hanging around a closed building at night wasn't a smart option. Being dropped off at the brewery...boozy watering hole that it is...was also not a good choice. Unfortunately, there wasn't much more to choose from in downtown Bratt at that time of night.
Now just as Leslie and I were driving around to see if there were any reasonable drop-off possibilities, two other Lunar Ladies, Elizabeth and Jenna, were about to carpool home from the guild meeting. Before leaving town for home, one of them got a "gut" feeling that I needed them. Just as we were making our way up Main Street, Leslie spied the other two Lunar Ladies in their car. Synchronicity. We stopped and much conferring went on. Even tho' I'm the oldest of the group, I felt about 12 as they decided what to do about me, but I was too tired to even worry much about this. The long and short of it is, I got in the car with Elizabeth. Jenna got in the car and headed home with Leslie, both of whom were exhausted and/or not feeling well. Now it was up to Elizabeth and I to find a place for me to wait in safety. I wondered aloud if the movie theater would mind me hanging out in their lobby? We decided it was worth a try, so I asked and was given the go-ahead. Off went Elizabeth.
I went in and the workers offered me a cushion to sit on, well away from the glass doors near the street. About 9:30 pm, even tho' I wasn't expecting Chris until 10 pm or after, I suddenly felt the urge to get up, gather my bags, and head to the glass doors. Just as I put my things down by the door, Chris drove by, spotted me, and backed up. Synchronicity, indeed.
One good friend, Lee, calls synchronicity "coinkydinks." Thank goodness for these incidences, whatever they're called!!! Too often we pass synchronicity off as inconsequential. However, if you consider and write up all the times you experience synchronicity, you might be amazed at the frequency that such happenings occur.
It would be great if you shared your coinkydinks. Consider putting them in the comment section, please. Thank you!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
A Bunch Of Dreams
Just finished reading "Second Sight," by Judith Orloff, M.D.. I can't say enough wonderful things about this book. I'm going to suggest highly that my Chris read it. It's that good. Among other things there's an excellent chapter on dreams entitled, "The Alchemy Of Dreams." Dr. Orloff goes on to explain the differences between psychological dreams, guidance dreams, precognitive dreams, and healing dreams. She also explains how important it is to keep a dream journal and calls such a personal record "a priceless archive." . In particular I like how Dr. Orloff explains that rather than jumping up out of bed each morning, remain still for awhile and retrieve your dreams. She writes, "Rest there for a while with your eyes shut. See what comes. The secret is to prolong what's known as the hypnogogic state, the period between seleep and waking. It's a magical time when you're consciously aware of your dream images but are still not quite alert." This keeps you from getting up so fast that your dreams are lost. Dr. Orloff goes on to say, "Images will form. Gently focus on them and watch where they take you. You don't have to force anything." She continues, "It's like watching the replay of a movie. You can actually see your dreams enacted all over again. The difference is that now you're actively witnessing them and can choose at any point to open your eyes and write them down."
Now for a smattering of recent dreams:
Asked before bed why I was having so many problems with a long-standing project I was involved with. The following dream was my answer...
10/24/09
Chloe, our black cat, was spread out flat on the branch of a tree. Blood was dripping down the tree from a wound she had. A snake was wrapped around her. End of dream.
10/25/09
Auditioned for a chance to be in a play/movie. I witnessed differing acting styles as others went for the part. Chris was waiting for me (looked like at the service desk at Walmart!). End of dream.
10/26/09
In a room full of people, Chris started to talk under his breath, "coaching" me on what to say. After we left I turned to him and told him never to do this again...that I was perfectly capable of speaking for myself. End of dream.
That same night, I woke up for a bit and as I was drifting back to sleep I saw this dream/vision:
Folks on a boat were partying. A jealous woman pushed another woman off the boat into the water "just for fun." The woman pushed over got caught in something and did not surface. I "felt" what she was going through. I felt her panic as she began to drown. End of dream.
10/27/09
I was a sales clerk in a hat and clothing store. A customer tried on many hats, including glass ones. The customer "took over," asking other customers if they'd like to see how South Africans put on sheer knee socks? I had some of these socks to try on, too, even tho' I was a clerk. The socks had interesting patterns running through them. The customer had us all lie down on the floor. I did so and was commended on doing a great job of following directions. The dream ended as the "take over" customer tried on a flimsy taupe tam, the size of a coffee can lid.
10/30/09
I was waiting for Chris at Greenfield Community College in Greenfield, MA. I was in the main lobby of a building our Alexander frequented for classes when he went to school there. I was on some bleachers, high in the air, spinning with a drop spindle. A lady, looking just like the sister of my friend, Jenna, was holding a walkie-talkie and was dressed in security-guard clothing. She kept asking how I was doing? She kept asking that same thing, and eventually she started to get impatient, clearly wanting to close the building and have me leave. I seemed to be the only one around. I told her I wasn't a student, but my husband was. I also told her our son, Alex, had been a student there. Impatient, she said she did need to close up for the night and I had to go. End of dream.
Interestingly, as I dreamt this, I was in Chris' arms, and found my hand rest on his tennis racquet-holding elbow, which sometimes gives him pain. I sent healing to the elbow joints as I was sleeping because I saw that the "cushioning" between the joints was dry and crackly, rather than being pliant and moist. And since my cheek rested on Chris' chest, I sent healing to his respiratory system, knowing he was fighting a cold.
11/2/09
I kept trying to light the candle in a ceramic diffuser that had no air holes (no oxygen). The candle refused to light. End of dream.
Now for a smattering of recent dreams:
Asked before bed why I was having so many problems with a long-standing project I was involved with. The following dream was my answer...
10/24/09
Chloe, our black cat, was spread out flat on the branch of a tree. Blood was dripping down the tree from a wound she had. A snake was wrapped around her. End of dream.
10/25/09
Auditioned for a chance to be in a play/movie. I witnessed differing acting styles as others went for the part. Chris was waiting for me (looked like at the service desk at Walmart!). End of dream.
10/26/09
In a room full of people, Chris started to talk under his breath, "coaching" me on what to say. After we left I turned to him and told him never to do this again...that I was perfectly capable of speaking for myself. End of dream.
That same night, I woke up for a bit and as I was drifting back to sleep I saw this dream/vision:
Folks on a boat were partying. A jealous woman pushed another woman off the boat into the water "just for fun." The woman pushed over got caught in something and did not surface. I "felt" what she was going through. I felt her panic as she began to drown. End of dream.
10/27/09
I was a sales clerk in a hat and clothing store. A customer tried on many hats, including glass ones. The customer "took over," asking other customers if they'd like to see how South Africans put on sheer knee socks? I had some of these socks to try on, too, even tho' I was a clerk. The socks had interesting patterns running through them. The customer had us all lie down on the floor. I did so and was commended on doing a great job of following directions. The dream ended as the "take over" customer tried on a flimsy taupe tam, the size of a coffee can lid.
10/30/09
I was waiting for Chris at Greenfield Community College in Greenfield, MA. I was in the main lobby of a building our Alexander frequented for classes when he went to school there. I was on some bleachers, high in the air, spinning with a drop spindle. A lady, looking just like the sister of my friend, Jenna, was holding a walkie-talkie and was dressed in security-guard clothing. She kept asking how I was doing? She kept asking that same thing, and eventually she started to get impatient, clearly wanting to close the building and have me leave. I seemed to be the only one around. I told her I wasn't a student, but my husband was. I also told her our son, Alex, had been a student there. Impatient, she said she did need to close up for the night and I had to go. End of dream.
Interestingly, as I dreamt this, I was in Chris' arms, and found my hand rest on his tennis racquet-holding elbow, which sometimes gives him pain. I sent healing to the elbow joints as I was sleeping because I saw that the "cushioning" between the joints was dry and crackly, rather than being pliant and moist. And since my cheek rested on Chris' chest, I sent healing to his respiratory system, knowing he was fighting a cold.
11/2/09
I kept trying to light the candle in a ceramic diffuser that had no air holes (no oxygen). The candle refused to light. End of dream.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Happy Halloween!!!!!
Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.-Edgar Allan Poe, The Raven
Monday, October 26, 2009
My Altar
As a child who grew up Catholic, I have fond memories of building an outside altar with friends in honor of Mary during her month of May. I remember borrowing my Ma's statue of the Blessed Virgin and adorning her with a crown of clover stems and flowers. We picked various flowers from gardens, as well, to put at her feet. The whole process of setting up an altar and praying by our altar gave me much joy.
A few years ago it occurred to me that I could have a year-round altar of my own. I remember the wise advice of friend, Jenna. She said, "Now Jenny, don't go putting your altar in a place where Chris can trip over it or where he'll feel like it's being stuffed down his throat." She was right. After all, it's not like I'd ever had an indoor altar in the then 27 years of our marriage and it would likely take Chris awhile to get used to the idea. I took Jenna's sage recommendation and decided to place the altar in my garage dye studio; a place that, for the most part, only I frequented. This arrangement worked well except that my dye studio tended to get messy, which I eventually began to feel was not a proper environment for my altar. Add to that, the cement floor was cold (despite a space heater) and it was not particularly pleasant to meditate/pray by the altar for any extended period of time.
After our youngest son, Alexander, flew the coop, I took over what was his bedroom and made it into my "spinning room." The spinning wheels, a futon-made-into-couch to knit/read on, the computer, a TV, and the 55 gallon fish tank (complete with 4 imported goldfish: Aristophanes, Aphrodite, Eros, and Andromeda) are in the room. What better new place for my altar?!!! I put a red and green plaid cloth over a small table sometimes used to mount wool combs on and have the following items of importance (to me!) on top~
At present I am enjoying reading the book, "Second Sight," by Judith Orloff, M.D.. I LOVE this book and am savoring each page. A few days ago I came upon Dr. Orloff's section on altars. She wrote that her Tao teacher suggested her altar face the east, which mine does. Judith writes, "...in the Taoist tradition, the birthplace of spiritual power..." is in the east. Judith continues, "When my life gets hectic, I know that I can return to my altar to rejuvenate myself. No matter how stressed out I am or how fast my mind is spinning, just sitting in stillness makes everything slow down." Dr. Orloff writes, "It's your own private sanctuary...like a church or synagogue. But it doesn't have to be conventionally religious unless you want it to be. The important thing is that you sit quietly with yourself, find your intuitive voice, and begin to listen."
A few years ago it occurred to me that I could have a year-round altar of my own. I remember the wise advice of friend, Jenna. She said, "Now Jenny, don't go putting your altar in a place where Chris can trip over it or where he'll feel like it's being stuffed down his throat." She was right. After all, it's not like I'd ever had an indoor altar in the then 27 years of our marriage and it would likely take Chris awhile to get used to the idea. I took Jenna's sage recommendation and decided to place the altar in my garage dye studio; a place that, for the most part, only I frequented. This arrangement worked well except that my dye studio tended to get messy, which I eventually began to feel was not a proper environment for my altar. Add to that, the cement floor was cold (despite a space heater) and it was not particularly pleasant to meditate/pray by the altar for any extended period of time.
After our youngest son, Alexander, flew the coop, I took over what was his bedroom and made it into my "spinning room." The spinning wheels, a futon-made-into-couch to knit/read on, the computer, a TV, and the 55 gallon fish tank (complete with 4 imported goldfish: Aristophanes, Aphrodite, Eros, and Andromeda) are in the room. What better new place for my altar?!!! I put a red and green plaid cloth over a small table sometimes used to mount wool combs on and have the following items of importance (to me!) on top~
- An amethyst cave that has a naturally embedded white, circular moon of quartz in the middle of it.
- A small copper, incense cauldron with a spinning wheel motif on the front and sand inside.
- Two brass candlesticks. The left candle is green for Mother God. The right candle is red for Father God.
- An orange-petaled candle holder with a white candle, for the Holy Spirit.
- Small statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary and another of St. Joseph holding the infant Jesus.
- A small carved statue of a female saint enclosed in a wood "cave" of sorts...not sure which saint this is, but I remember buying her for 25 cents when I was very small, at a jumble sale held at a school. I've always loved this little statue and one day it fell off a shelf and the head of the saint broke off...eek, decapitated!!! I glued the head back on and no one is any the wiser.
- Various rocks, crystals, shells, etc.
- A crystal glass with a bird on the stem, holding a variety feathers.
- A little cupped dish with flowers painted on from my Grandma Mayer.
- A larger, flatter dish with flowers painted on and with three sides (maiden, mother, crone).
- Three tiny brass bells.
- A wee purple Teddy bear in honor of a friend's mother who is fighting cancer.
- Two small vases that my Alexander brought back for me from Japan; one is pink and one is blue. Because excellent black cat Chloe is allowed into my spinning room, I shall make sure whatever flowers/plants I place into the vases are non-toxic.
At present I am enjoying reading the book, "Second Sight," by Judith Orloff, M.D.. I LOVE this book and am savoring each page. A few days ago I came upon Dr. Orloff's section on altars. She wrote that her Tao teacher suggested her altar face the east, which mine does. Judith writes, "...in the Taoist tradition, the birthplace of spiritual power..." is in the east. Judith continues, "When my life gets hectic, I know that I can return to my altar to rejuvenate myself. No matter how stressed out I am or how fast my mind is spinning, just sitting in stillness makes everything slow down." Dr. Orloff writes, "It's your own private sanctuary...like a church or synagogue. But it doesn't have to be conventionally religious unless you want it to be. The important thing is that you sit quietly with yourself, find your intuitive voice, and begin to listen."
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
An Important "Life" Dream
With our youngest son, Alexander, moving "for good" to Japan to be with his new wife, Emi, we've all been under a lot of stress...moving him out of his apartment; figuring where to put the stuff he's not taking with him but which is too important to dispose of; being there on his last day of work; helping him close his accounts; making sure he pays the nearly last of his bills; watching him say his good-byes; etc. What has taken a lot out of me personally is watching the movie-in-my-mind show Alexander from birth through now; playing over and over again the poignant moments we've shared together. As I watched this many-scenes movie, the tears welled up despite my efforts to quell them, sometimes literally pouring down my face. A Ma will always be a Ma.
A few mornings ago, I woke up and remembered an incredible dream. I immediately related the dream to Chris. He thought for awhile and said, "You need to write that dream down right away. It's the symbolic story of your life up to now."
10/19/09
My dream began with Chris and I as students in a math class taught by a nun in partial habit (circa late '60s - early '70s). I didn't understand anything of what was being taught formula-wise. As always, NOT KNOWING how to do whatever was being taught upset me. Chris had no problem with the math formulas whatsoever.
The next day (or another day) we all went into the same classroom for a math test. I had no idea how to do anything. A grandma stopped me before going into the classroom and handed over a baby with developmental difficulties. (note: This child looked like a young version of a child I know in Brattleboro. His mother was the daughter of a woman who decided not to rent a room to Alexander, our youngest, when he was looking for a place to stay.) The grandma gave me the baby to watch. I held the child during the test, trying to comfort him, but couldn't even attempt to take the test even if I wanted to.
A girl was answering the test questions by drawing pictures. I knew she was getting the correct answers despite not doing the formulas the nun had taught. Chris did the test with no problems, using the nun's formulas perfectly. After the test the nun used the girl who drew pictures as an example of NOT following directions, even tho' the girl got all the correct answers. As the nun chastised the girl, I thought how the nun had failed to see that there's more than one road to success.
End of dream. I won't analyze the dream here, but will say that Chris was right...it IS the story of my life on many levels.
A few mornings ago, I woke up and remembered an incredible dream. I immediately related the dream to Chris. He thought for awhile and said, "You need to write that dream down right away. It's the symbolic story of your life up to now."
10/19/09
My dream began with Chris and I as students in a math class taught by a nun in partial habit (circa late '60s - early '70s). I didn't understand anything of what was being taught formula-wise. As always, NOT KNOWING how to do whatever was being taught upset me. Chris had no problem with the math formulas whatsoever.
The next day (or another day) we all went into the same classroom for a math test. I had no idea how to do anything. A grandma stopped me before going into the classroom and handed over a baby with developmental difficulties. (note: This child looked like a young version of a child I know in Brattleboro. His mother was the daughter of a woman who decided not to rent a room to Alexander, our youngest, when he was looking for a place to stay.) The grandma gave me the baby to watch. I held the child during the test, trying to comfort him, but couldn't even attempt to take the test even if I wanted to.
A girl was answering the test questions by drawing pictures. I knew she was getting the correct answers despite not doing the formulas the nun had taught. Chris did the test with no problems, using the nun's formulas perfectly. After the test the nun used the girl who drew pictures as an example of NOT following directions, even tho' the girl got all the correct answers. As the nun chastised the girl, I thought how the nun had failed to see that there's more than one road to success.
End of dream. I won't analyze the dream here, but will say that Chris was right...it IS the story of my life on many levels.
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